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Communication – It’s Not All About Me

Communicate with people - Be honestBe Genuine

I am reading a book at the moment which talks about communication and how to get the best from any given situation.  For those who communicate to earn a living i.e. Sales / Customer Service / Therapists etc this book is one you should definitely read.  It is called ‘It’s Not All About ME’ by Robin Dreeke ex-FBI Agent.

There are various techniques covered in the (small) book but the first one is interesting as it highlights the need to set-out a time-frame for the conversation, so to put the other person at ease and reduce any discomfort.  I find this relevant as I heard a story recently where a customer stood chatting to a receptionist in a busy tanning salon for over 15 mts.  It was nice for the customer to feel at ease, but the long-winded conversation put pressure on the receptionist as she was then behind with her work.  Let me explain, this should have been a 30-second to 1 minute transaction.  Should the receptionist have closed her down?  Would she have felt rude and impolite?  Maybe, but the point is after a few minutes she must have questioned in her head, when is this going to finish?

A good example of this could be telling the person you only have a few minutes, but must share this story, however, displaying that you are aware of the time.  Then at least the person listening knows it has a start, middle and end!  Another example could be dropping in on a friend at home, the friend may / may not be busy or need to cook the dinner etc for the family.  The polite thing to do would be gauge how much time you can snatch with him / her and then leave.  That way you don’t out-stay your welcome, or become the friend who turns up without notice and doesn’t have any consideration for others time.

The point is, we all sometimes take others for granted.  Just because someone is too polite to interrupt you and close down the conversation, does not mean they are not willing you to stop talking.  Try to ensure you don’t put yourself in this situation and if you are on the receiving end of this with others, try to explain to them that they have a habit of XYZ and try to make light of it.  If it continues to happen, you need to have a conversation that will register with them.

If you allow a person to talk and you ask questions, they will continue to talk about themselves.  People love having someone listen to them, as how seldom do you actually have 1 person’s full attention?  It is good being a confidant, but beware of the emotional drain it can take on you. Friendships are too important to lose, just try setting some boundaries.

If you feel you could maybe have an outside perspective on your communication skills, book a session with Approach The Coach.  Coaching is non-intrusive and can be done face to face, or via the telephone.  In person is always the preferred choice.  Sessions can be totally flexible based on your circumstances.

Thank you for reading this blog, please subscribe so you receive future blogs and also connect with me using the social media buttons at the top of the screen.  Louise Wightman of Approach The Coach is based in Glasgow, Scotland and offers the following services Business Coaching, Social Media Training, SEO, Marketing and Website Design.  The main website is, if you have any questions please don’t hesitate to make contact, I would love to hear from you.





Originally posted 2013-07-29 14:30:02. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Contact Approach The Coach

Based in Kilmarnock, Ayrshire, Scotland

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